In light of the events of January 7th, 2012, Delta Airlines and the One World Alliance would like to issue the following reminders to passengers purchasing a one-day pass to the Delta Lounge.
Please refrain from disturbing your fellow travelers. Statements such as “THESE COOKIES ARE FREE?!” need not be loudly exclaimed.
The Lounge is for travelers seeking a refined, relaxed travel experience. Delta Employees will not inform you as to whether or not there’s a “sexy vibe up there.”
Changing the channel on the lounge television is strictly prohibited, especially if you are tuning it to a rerun of The Vampire Diaries and especially when that TV is the Departures screen.
Newspapers and magazines are available for a nominal fee. Please do not ask other lounge-occupants whether they have any good “toilet reading” and if they would mind watching your bags.
The complimentary cheese is to be enjoyed in the lounge, and not packed into a laptop case for later consumption.
Do not address the room by loudly exclaiming “THIS CHEESE IS FREE TOO?!”
Other Important Advisories:
Waitstaff are forbidden from pretending that the Delta Lounge is an Interstellar Cafe on the Starship Adventure, nor will they refer to your credit card as a “Galacticard.”
The Delta Lounge does not accept the Discover No-Risk Student Advantage Galacticard.
Delta Employees will not “wake you up” in time for your flight in case you accidentally “snooze it up near the free cheese.”
We thank you for choosing Delta and hope to see you soon.*
*Unless you have received a Denial of Service letter from our legal department.
